THE CHRISTIAN SOLDIER -- WINTER 2025

          A famous study done at Stanford University in the 1960s used preschool children and marshmallows to learn more about self-control. In the experiment, each child was taken into a room where a big, fluffy marshmallow was placed on the table. The researcher explained to the child, "You can eat this marshmallow now if you want to. But if you can resist temptation and wait until I come back, you can have two marshmallows." Then, the researcher left the room for five minutes.

          As you might expect, many children ate the marshmallow as soon as the researcher left the room. [I probably would have been in this category.] Other children tried their best to wait. They sat on their hands. They tried to focus on something else. They closed their eyes and sang songs.  But in the end, they gave in and ate the marshmallow just a few moments before the researcher’s return. Some children, however, were able to wait for the full five minutes and, as a result, earn that second marshmallow.

          The truth is that the experiment had nothing to do with marshmallows or children. The experiment was all about self-control and the adults that these children would later become. The researchers followed up with them into adulthood and gathered some fascinating insight. The ones that were able to wait for the second marshmallow were more successful in every area of their lives when compared to the ones who ate the marshmallow immediately. In general, they earned better grades in school and went further in their education. They tended to be happier and more successful in their relationships. They lived healthier lifestyles with lower instances of substance abuse and crime. They were able to achieve higher levels of career and financial success. The subjects who immediately at the marshmallow struggled. They were prone to poverty, addiction, crime, and tumultuous relationships, reflecting an inherent lack of self-control. The study seemed to show that success and happiness has a lot to do with the ability to wait for the second marshmallow. 

          Of course, there were exceptions to this trend, because people always have a choice at any point to change their lives for the better or for the worse. However, it is interesting to note that self-control is a huge indicator of success. Success in any area of life requires that we control ourselves over a span of time. Even when we are tired, even when we are hungry, even when we are frustrated, we must resist the desires of the “here and now” and focus more on the rewards of tomorrow, which are typically greater. We must learn to wait for that second marshmallow. This is called "delayed gratification", and it is one of the most important things that we will ever learn.

          Reaching financial independence and wealth is possible! But we must learn to resist those shiny new gadgets and fancy dinners at Texas de Brazil that bring us immense pleasure now. Instead, we need to be happy with what we have and deposit that money in the bank instead. And wait. And wait some more. In order to reach our goals, we must live on less than we earn over a period of time. We must delay gratification. 

          If we want to be healthy and fit, we have to push aside that ice cream sundae and eat a protein bar instead. [No judgement here! My clothes are a little tight as well!] We have to go to the gym even when we are sore and we are not seeing results. We have to make our choices for the benefits that they will give us tomorrow, not for the benefits that we will receive today.

          Education is another area where self-control is important. The ability to delay gratification usually makes the difference between the successful college graduate and the one who quits. In fact, a new study called "The New Marshmallow Test" observed college students studying and found that the ones who turned their devices off--(like off off)--had the best grades. The more times a student picked up their phone, the worse their grades tended to be. Like I said before, there were exceptions, but it is interesting to note the trend. It takes discipline to resist those distracting urges: to check facebook instead of read, to play video games instead of studying, to sleep in instead of waking up early. And these happen to be the things that make all the difference. 

          Perhaps the greatest implication of the Marshmallow Test is in our own spiritual happiness and success. Living for God is firmly rooted in our ability to resist what feels good for what is good. Lust feels good in the moment but leads to dark and destructive ends; love is very difficult in the moment but leads to life-giving benefits. Greed feels good and makes sense in the moment, but eventually leads to a meager, pitiful existence. To sacrifice in generosity is to be Christ-like and leads to rewards unspeakable. 
           And sometimes it is not a matter of resistance but of balance. Many things that are not wrong can become sinful and unhealthy if not tempered with self-control and balance. While refusing to work can be a sin, becoming a workaholic is also problematic. It takes self-control to find a healthy, godly balance. While sleep is a necessary part of life, there comes a time when the alarm clock must go off and the prayer closet must be occupied. It is good to socialize. It is healthy to keep in touch with friends and family. But . . . nobody likes a social media zombie.  
           We know the kind of life we want to have. We know the kind of people we want to be. And we generally know what it will take to get there. It is often a lack of self-control that stands in our way. The bottom line is this: you can accomplish almost anything that you want to, and you can earn almost any prize. But you have to want it badly enough to sacrifice. Sacrifice is not easy, and it takes self-control. We must develop the ability to base our chioices on the long-term results, not the immediate results. We must learn to see the big picture. We must learn to wait for the second marshmallow.  

 

Proverbs 25:28 " He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls." 

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Proverbs 6:6-11 "Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: [7]Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, [8]Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.  [9]How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? [10]Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: [11]So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man."

 

Romans 8:13 " For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live." 

 

I Corinthians 9:24-25 " Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. [25]And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things."